"Get a Life"

I'm so tired of that statement. Any time someone does well in a game, they need to get a life. If they can afford two consoles, a high-end PC, or a custom game controller, they need to get a life. And of course if they're a jerk, they really need one. Naturally, all of this is said while hiding safely behind the courage-inducing anonymity of the internet.


I think this phrase has become so diluted that people who use it as an insult don't realize the irony of the statement. Ignoring the trolls, telling someone who succeeds in a game or can afford more than bare-bones gaming supplies that they don't have a life makes 0 sense. The insult comes from those whose lives are so wrapped up in a game that they actually get upset at someone who makes them feel bad about themselves.

Allow me to use a few examples I've experienced. When places like IGN are discussing the next generation of consoles, there is inevitably someone who pipes in with "I'm just buying both so I don't have to choose." Now that's a hefty investment, but if they are doing well enough in life that they want to spend that kind of money, more power to them. The replies that follow are always predictable. "You're buying both? Get a life you loser!"

Whenever an online game with a level or gear system releases, there are people who reach maximum level considerably faster than others. Now when someone reaches max level blazingly fast it's usually because they took vacation time or lost a lot of sleep to do nothing but play. Once those guys have reached the finish line, you have people who play at a healthier pace reaching maximum level a week or two after them. If those people of a higher level are ever at the top of a leaderboard, even if it's a month or two after release, you'll have a lobby of lower-level people insulting them for how well they've done.

Finally, almost any YouTube video with footage of highly-skilled players of a game, whether Starcraft, Magic, Warcraft, Warmachine or Halo, there are always those people who cross their arms and fling judgement at these people who are so skilled at a game that they simply must have nothing else in their lives except being losers and playing games.

However, once you break down the "why" behind these actions you start to see who the sad one really is. I think this whole immature business stems from jealousy. We all crave success, even in things as meaningless as getting 1st place in a Halo lobby. So when we come across people who remind us that no matter how good we are there is always someone better, we don't want to accept it.

I had a buddy who was really good at almost any video game he touched. Whenever he'd do considerably better than me, in the back of my mind I'd always be thinking about how much more time he spends playing, and somehow that would elevate me above him because "He may be better, but at least I'm not a loser who spends all my time playing!" I realized how silly I sounded when one day he started going on a similar tangent about someone who kept beating him. This guy who was simply a better player was a loser because how else could he beat my friend?

When you hear it out loud it sounds completely idiotic and petty. Logically if someone is better than us we should simply say "good job," or even try to learn from them. Instead we keep trying to place ourselves above the better players by diminishing their victories and claiming some kind of moral high ground.

Sure I'm spending $500 on an Xbox One, but at least I'm not like that guy who can afford to spend $900 for both systems!

I might have lost all my Warmachine games, but at least I'm not like that guy who doesn't look like he showers!

I'd rather lose in Call of Duty than be a nerd who lives in his mother's basement and never gets laid!

See what I mean? Outside of context, saying these things makes us sound like a cliche 13 year old popular girl. "I know all the boys think she's cute, but I bet she still sleeps with a stuffed animal." It's petty, it's sometimes nonsensical, and it really keeps people from becoming better players because there's always a way to feel better about losing. And of course, getting mad and telling someone to "get a life" for being better at a game really shows whose life is actually wrapped up in the game.

The worst part about this is that it completely fractures the community, which I'm sure you guys have discovered is a big no-no with me. If someone is succeeding everyone ridicules them. Instead of giving them the credit they deserve for performing well, we devalue how good they are at a hobby by attacking them directly.

Imagine if all the good Warmachine players had a tactics thread like Neutralyze that is currently 86 pages long and is filled with him answering the questions about his favorite faction? What if we had more players like Tmartn making in depth gaming videos about games like Battlefield, Halo, Warcraft, or any other game that is so robust that strategy and practice is what seperates the greats from everyone else?

I think we need to encourage the best people in our hobbies to help the rest of the community. However, I also believe that needs to start at a micro level. If someone beats us fair and square, let them know they did a good job. Ask how they did it. Benefit from the skills that we obviously don't have. I know more about list-building from talking to my buddy Fritz than I ever would have if I'd somehow diminished his wins against me. I'm a better Call of Duty player because I admitted to my friend Tony that I wanted to know how he ran around the map and won so many gun fights.

Don't get me wrong, I still fall prey to some pettiness with people I don't know. I can't figure out why I'm struggling to get better so I pat myself on the back and say "At least you aren't that guy who's better than you. Isn't he a loser because he can play a game better than you?" Still, it's something I'm definitely working on and it's always disheartening to see it everywhere I go.

So let's try to strengthen our community. We already have fans of NASCAR and the NFL making fun of us, we don't need an internal war as well!


See you tomorrow!

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