The Lone Gamer

This weekend we're travelling to visit my wife's aunt and uncle, as well as their 4 girls. That more-or-less means a few days hanging out with people who aren't gamers, and that's always a weird situation to be in. I'm not saying gamers are universally more fun to hang out with [they are, but I'm not saying it outside of these brackets], but there's always an easy bond that can be forged between you and someone who enjoys your form of entertainment. Even if I play Skyrim and you play Killzone, we can at least talk about gaming while surrounded by a barren, geek-free wasteland.

Don't get me wrong, it's not hard to go days without gaming. I'm not a 14 year old girl who will just "omg totally die" without a controller in my hands or some dice in front of me. It's more about talking hobbies with people who can't fathom finding joy in painting up little army men and pretending to make them fight. For my 3 year old son, sure, but not so much for a grown man. At the same time, I'll be talking with a house of people whose own hobbies aren't terribly interesting to me. Conversations will happen because we're family, but it's harder to have that "click" moment where you find someone you just love hanging out with and discussing shared interests.

I will say that I've been pretty fortunate as far as my in-laws go. Amanda's brother and cousin are my mirror images in terms of gaming, and her dad is always interested in at least hearing or watching geeky stuff. The three of them have conditioned most of their family to get used to gamers, so going in to the family didn't make me feel like a total alien. I still leave my Punisher shirt at home, but at least they understand that someone can be a gamer and human at the same time.

My blood family, however, has always been flabbergasted at my hobbies. Between my two families I have one cousin who plays games. Whenever I'd go to visit he'd always have a library of games he was stuck on, and we'd spend most of our time talking and gaming. He's one of my closest friends, but in our family we are definitely the outcasts. We don't play sports, we don't watch sports we don't obsess over sports, we won't argue (read: have loud, angry "discussions") over religion... basically when our families get together he and I sit at the "geeks' table," our kids sit at the kids' table, and the rest talk loudly until we all get together and play a board game. I'm still working myself up to explain to them how the hours they spend on fantasy football is exactly the same as what I do in Dungeons and Dragons, only swapping my robe and wizard's hat for an overprice jersey and hat.

Over the years I've learned enough to have a basic conversation about sports. I truly do enjoy hearing people talk about their own hobbies, even if I would find it boring to take part in it myself. At least my mom's side of the family has a hobby that they can talk to me about. If you recall my Mother's Day post, you know that my mom has even tried taking an interest in my geeky hobbies. My dad's side of the family? No such luck.

That half of my family is pretty lacking in hobbies. I love them all, but most interactions usually range from talking about what's going on with them and their friends, all the way to long-winded diatribes about how some person I don't know wronged them years ago, and it's usually a rant I've heard before. As you guys may have noticed I don't really vibe on negativity. I don't buy in to "think positive," but being angry has always seemed so pointless to me. Talking about someone when they're not around has always rubbed me the wrong way, especially because I know if someone's gossiping to me, they're very likely to gossip about me. So with that half of my family, it's nearly impossible to get beyond chit-chat simply because there is nothing beyond it.

While I'm not persecuted from any family members, it does make being the lone gamer pretty difficult when it comes to conversation. We're geeks - we're passionate about our hobbies to the point of religious zealotry! I want to talk to people about The Last of Us, or a new Magic deck I want to try, or my Warmachine armies, or the upcoming consoles, or swap World of Warcraft stories, or talk superhero movies, or...... I mean it goes on and on because being a geek is full of new experiences that can only be appreciated by another geek.

Sure people can be supportive and listen to us spew out goofy terms like "steampunk"  or listen to me rant about why I hate the Vancian magic system, but gamers have a horrible stereotype. We don't get the same pass as fantasy football guys where people can just say "oh you guys and your sports." People think we're from the cast of the Big Bang theory, and that as soon as we say "Call of Duty," we simply must be socially incompetent and are likely wasting our lives playing games.

Fortunately that's not the stereotype I will get this weekend. Though they may not "get" me, they've spent 18 years not getting my brother-in-law, and they've learned how to cope. I'll be able to tell people about my blogging journey, my painting business, and the Clash for a Cure charity event I'm participating in.

It won't be awful by any stretch of the imagination, but it really got me thinking about how even though geeks are widespread enough to have tons of conventions throughout the year, when it comes to family we're usually on our own little island. What has your experience been like between gaming and your family? Do you have anyone to talk to, do people accept it, or are you just that weird guy who "plays D&D and like... Halo and stuff"?

See you tomorrow! [Well, technically not since I'm scheduling my posts for the weekend, but I'll see you in spirit!]

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