Cursed Projects

Since the first day I started painting, I'd like to think all my projects have gone pretty smoothly. Nothing is ever perfect, but there are rarely any "oh crap" moments when I sit down and paint a group of models. The charity project I'm working on, however, wants to be remembered as the most harrowing project I've ever done.

This isn't the first time I've had models that seem to have some kind of curse on them. One of my Khador Manhunters was dropped half a dozen times during painting, each time breaking off the same arm. This was before I knew what pinning was, and even after I got him painted and sealed, he was still the only model I would drop during a game. At one point I stopped fielding him just because I knew that in addition to his 2 point army cost, he'd also cost me 10 minutes of reassembly and 20 minutes of quiet sobbing as I watched the paint around his joint slowly flake away. I've gotten to the point where I've left his arm off until I get around to pinning it, just to see if the entire model will explode when his arm can't fall off anymore. Fortunately Warmachine doesn't follow What You See Is What You Get, or he would have a serious disadvantage when it came to hitting with his stump.

Another cursed project had me tearing my hair out. When I was painting my epic Irusk, every piece that stuck out from his body fell off at least once, including a piece that wasn't glued at a joint. This was made all the more frustrating because that's the model where I started to really understand how to paint shadows, so he's a very bittersweet model to me. Right now he's sitting in his tray with his oversized pewter flag lying across him because I'm tired of him tipping over and falling to pieces at the slightest hint of gravity.

And now I'm painting a Menoth army for the first time, and I'm pretty sure the models conspired against me after I primed them. They heard me grumbling about the insane amount of mold lines, and apparently that was offensive enough for them to go Toy Story-mode and leap out of my hands while being painted. There's a unit that has a menofix at the top of a staff, and the leader's staff refuses to stay together. I'm hesitant to pin it because the staff is so narrow that drilling it out will leave a paper mache shell, and with my luck the entire thing will break when I ship it down to Texas for the charity raffle.

We also recently got two new kittens. They're very adorable, but predictably curious. The girl really likes to climb up on my painting table and just walk around, despite the fact that her tiny feet can barely find a clear place to step. Of course the only uncluttered area on the table is right where I paint, and while I was still adjusting to being owned by cats I would leave my models sitting out unprotected at night. It turns out that batting little men off a table is great-good fun, because I came out one morning to find that Kreoss, the one model that has been surprisingly durable, was the only one left standing.

To top it all off, my back is in on it too! I've had a long-standing back injury that comes and goes, but it had been pretty tame for quite awhile now. Of course as soon as I started tackling my charity army, it's gone out on me at least once a week! Sure it means more time for other stuff (hello Last of Us!), but I really hate having an unfinished project of any kind. I've been able to paint 15-20 minutes a day just for peace of mind, but I'm frustratingly behind schedule because of it.

Granted "behind schedule" to me means I won't finish two months early, but it's still enough to make me yell at my models when no one is home. Add in extra time spent reassembling models, cleaning errant paint lines caused by cats latching on to my legs, back, or arms, and replacing 2 GW paintbrushes that have died shortly after touching the warjacks... and this is becoming the longest, more arduous project I've ever done.

Still, I'm excited to be part of a charity event so I remain mentally undeterred. Who knows, I may even get a Lifetime movie deal by the end of it. Painting Through the Pain: The Ray Burns Story. Admit it, you'd DVR the heck out of it.


See you tomorrow!

Remember to follow me on Facebook. I'm doing a blog post every single day for 2013, and Facebook is a great way to stay up-to-date as well as take part in my monthly giveaways!