A Helping Hand
Today someone on the Privateer Press forums asked about proper decorum when it comes to offering outside help. The answers varied widely because, of course, it's not really an objective discussion.
Those who are in favor of allowing people to help had several worthwhile exceptions and expectations for when and why it's not an issue. From the forums discussion, as well as other discussions I've heard in the past, these can include:
- The player is new
- It's a casual game with nothing on the line
- It's okay as long as both players agree to it
- The player is much less skilled than their opponent and wants the help
While those are all fine, I don't think third-party help benefits a player in any situation when ideas are simply dictated to them. Part of learning anything in life is going through trial and error, with mistakes occurring often enough that avoiding them can occur on a subconscious level.
Who Doesn't Love Metaphors?
Take this juggler, for example:
That's 1.5 million volts of electricity. Grabbing the wrong end of those would, in the best scenario, drop him to the ground and cause him a bunch of pain. He's doing this for a chance to win $1,000,000, so it's imperative that he gives a good performance.
The only way he could hope to survive this act is for him to respect the danger he's in. You can guarantee this isn't the first time he's juggled with some risk, be it knives, flaming torches, or even just these tasers set to a lower power. He didn't get thrust in to this do-or-die situation without a mix of trial and error and a lot of pain.
That's how I think players need to learn. Playing with someone coddling them is going to destroy any chances of them learning the game in its appropriate stages. If a player is used to having someone dictate what to do in tough situations, they will never learn how to evaluate the game, make the choices, and then see the good or bad results of that choice.
If they're told to do something good, then there's no reward from success. If they're told to do something bad, then "Oh well, I guess they were wrong." But they aren't left with anything to think about after the game - there's no understanding of synergy, DOs and DON'Ts, or how they need to improve as a player.
Going back to my metaphor, telling players what to do is like a juggler only using rubber knives right up until his "Is he going to mess up and die?" performance. Sure he may think he's doing the real thing, but without slowly building his way towards the big performance (i.e. playing good opponents without any aid) he's going to go from a safe area of bubble wrap and straight to the ER.
Now how should a new player get help? By getting hurt while learning to juggle safely. By having players give advice on synergies and list-building ideas before a game, or waiting until they see the results of a bad decision and saying "You lost that piece there, but if you hadn't played so aggressively then here's what could have happened."
I'll use a personal example. Years ago I had to spend 10 weeks on crutches after one of my many knee surgeries. I had a brace that went from my ankle to my hip, and a sheet full of muscle exercises so my muscles wouldn't atrophy. Of course I didn't do my exercises for a few weeks because they hurt like heck, and instead I just relied on my brace to keep my leg safe. The time finally came for me to start bearing weight on my leg (while still using the crutches), and I cried. My physical therapist moved me on to more extreme exercises so I could get my muscles where they should be as well as deal with a lot of scar tissue. I didn't slowly improve my leg like I should have - I coasted for a long time and then had to experience some of the worst pain in my life in order to be where I should be.
Raising a Baby Bird
Trust me, I'm not saying new players should just be tossed in to the shark tank of competitive players. They need to learn, and it's crucial that someone be there to patiently help them learn the game. But whether either player realizes it, it does a severe disservice to the new player if someone is hand-holding their way through most of their developmental games. When the players are suddenly "too experienced" to have someone coaching them, they won't have anything stored up in their subconcious. Everything about the game will take mental effort to work through, and that's going to lead to a lot of frustrating mistakes. When they're still new that's fine, but after 6 months of playing they will start to feel like they're terrible players, when in reality they've never been allowed to move beyond a beginner's mentality.
My friends know they can't give me advice on what I'm about to do. I'll flail my arms up in the air and start yelling incoherent babble to drown them out because a) I enjoy the dramaticism and b) I genuinely don't want to hear the idea before I've made my own plan . It's not fair to me because even if I listen to that advice, I won't learn because I didn't go through the process of discovering that idea. It's also not fair to my opponent because that makes them essentially compete against two minds, one of which isn't invested in the game and can probably see things much more clearly than either of the players. And of course it doesn't teach me to think under pressure because when things get too crazy, I can ask the audience for help.
As I said, the key is moderation. Players need to be the ones having a direct relationship with the game. If someone wants to train them, then a few minutes should be taken before the game to go over things like synergy, their powerful pieces, and how to interact with what their opponent is using. This will let them have a goal in mind while still putting the responsibility of how they play solely in their hands.
Likewise if a player makes a bad move they can be coached after the fact, though perhaps after the opponent has reacted to it so as not to give the mistake away. It can help get them back on track with their plan, and gives them a concrete way to evaluate a mistake (or good play) they made. Sometimes trying to piece through everything after a game can be a nightmare, but taking time here and there to discuss specifics can aid in a player's growth.
[It's worth noting that illegal rules mistakes should be corrected immediately. If they forget to do something optional, but obviously would have, I don't see a problem reminding the if it's fine with the opponent, but I would say only correct it once and then let them suffer for forgetting. If they do something that cannot be done according to the rules it needs to be fixed immediately so it doesn't turn in to a bad understanding of the rules.]
Finally, while this is more of a personal opinion than everything else I've said I don't think it can be overstated: stop helping them as soon as they understand the game. If someone is still learning the core rules of a game it can be daunting to figure out how their army or deck works in addition to everything else. As soon as the new player can basically function in the game it's time to let them learn on their own. If they solicit advice then I think it's great to keep discussing tactics and errors, but don't do it in any way that could influence the game.
One of the biggest offenses I see is people giving a "friendly reminder" in an effort to give advice without dictating. "The enemy warcaster is behind that warjack, don't forget you can slam the warjack in to him." "Don't forget about that enchantment on the field." ""If you move too close you'll be in range of his weapons." Let's be honest, it's no different.
Why Help?
I'd like to close this with a question. When we tell other players to do this or that, why do we do it? It's always done in the name of helping, but what are we helping them to do? If you've read through this entire thing, I hope you'll agree that purely dictating a player's moves doesn't really help them.
I'd posit that if our end goal really is to help players, then we need to figure out what we're helping them do. Winning is great, but it's a classic example of "Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a day." A new player can win a lot of games if better players are telling them what to do, but they won't understand how or why, and certainly won't be able to repeat that success on their own.
If our end goal is to help players stand on their own to feet, we need to shape our help in that direction. Coddling them will just make underdeveloped players, but throwing them in the ocean and yelling "Swim!" will have them struggling to do the simplest strategies.
Guiding them, letting them enjoy the wisdom of other players without compromising their own skill growth, should be the goal. Make sure their guidance is done with the end-result of producing a skilled, mature player, not one who has to rely on others for their decisions. Advise them on how to win every game, not just the one they're playing right now.
See you tomorrow!
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